I am being ruined…

September 17, 2008

He has become the Bridegroom within. He has taken care to do everything for His bride, but He is infinitely jealous. But do not be surprised at the sternness of His jealousy. Of what then is He so jealous? Is it of our talents, intelligence, the regularity of outer virtues? No. He is condescending and easy about all such things. Love is jealous only of love. All of His punctiliousness is only concerned with the rectitude of the will. He cannot suffer any division of the heart of the bride, and He suffers still less all pretexts by which the bride seeks to deceive herself to excuse the division of her heart. That is what lights the devouring flame of His jealousy. So far as a pure and ingenuous love guides you, O Bride, the Bridegroom will bear with an unlimited patience all that you do which is irregular, through carelessness or weakness without detriment to the integrity of your heart. But from the moment that your love refuses anything to God, and that you want to deceive yourself in this refusal, the Bridegroom will consider you an unfaithful bride who wishes to cover her infidelity.

—Francois Fenelon

I am falling so in love with Jesus. his lips truly do drip with myrrh like it says in Song of Solomon. He is constantly calling me to come and die. He speaks to me in the prayer room, and it is of His great zeal to conquer me, and my heart comes alive at His faithfulness. He has betrothed Himself to us in faithfulness forever. He is true to Himself, and true to His word, so faithful to complete the work that He has started! He has begun the process of sanctification in me and it is His will that I be made pure and spotless! It is the craziest thing, that my heart is ravished and hunger is birthed and nurtured and cultivated in the place of hearing Him promise death to my self confidence and inner assurance contrary to His purposes and self love and evil sense of ownership over His gifts and ignorant perspectives of who He is! There is a day coming when I will know Him as He knows me!!! Who is like Him? There is none! I cannot describe the love that has awakened in me for Him, in this barren, small, weak wilderness of a prayer room He has me in, He is forming me into a lover of God!

“You are so good,

you never leave, when I think you should,

you are so kind,

with all you see, you still give me life.”


4 Responses to “I am being ruined…”

  1. Alisa Says:

    Hi Wes,

    Wow! How beautiful He is in you!! I just wanted to say hello and let you know again how precious our time was with you while you were here. We were so blessed in the sharing of Christ’s love and the testamonies of the power of prayer. I so desire to be intimate with Him the way you are!! I am lifting you up in prayer and look forward to hearing more of how the Lord is working in and through you for His Kingdom purposes!! We love you, brother!

    In Christ’s love,

  2. aslade Says:

    Great post. Great way of expressing the bittersweetness of the prayer room. You are awesome. Keep ravishing HIS heart! You are such an encouragement to me even in the midst of my horribleness. I promise. Your friendship is invaluable. Always remember that.

  3. Evelyn Huth Says:

    Yes, I listened to the Way session that you sent the link to. I’m excited!!!! Took some notes and will be looking these over so that understanding can come on this for us here. I agree that it grips you!
    Post is-a deeper work going on Whew!
    Don’t let those spiders cause you any grief
    Love you, Mom

  4. Evelyn Huth Says:

    Updates are the greatest!
    Hey, favored one-how are you?

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